Parenting is no doubt difficult, and it is even more when there is no specific one way to parent a child. Every parent faces different struggles and hurdles while bringing up their children. When it comes to dealing with their daily tantrums, parenting a compromised child, dealing with a stubborn child for parenting a special kid. We, as parents, try to look after our children in the best possible way, but sometimes we do more harm to our children than do good. The situation can get out of hand and a beautiful relationship can turn out to be a disaster.
In this article, we have addressed the mistakes in the parenting style. This guide will help you to recognize what mistakes you are making as a parent and how you can rectify them.
Comparing your children with other children:
Comparing your children with other children, judging them for reasons like having bad grades in exams, not achieving a particular goal in life, and devaluing your children by praising other children. The after-effects of Thai mistakes are destructive and they can ruin the whole personality of your children. He will have low confidence in his abilities, and he will feel insecure in his personality and topics feelings like jealousy and hate will get in his mind, Although parents think that by comparing their children with other children, their children will start working hard, but they didn’t know the toxic shift or the road this way.
How to overcome this? The parents have to realize that every child is born with special skills and potential. Some children are interested in maths, some in arts, some in video games, some in painting, some in cricket, and some in sketching. Each skill is valuable and many remarkable personalities have brightened their future by mastering these skills.
Not letting children make their own decisions:
Parents think that they own their children and they have full right over them, with what they have to do and what they want them to do in their life. Parents are sensitive that their children are not growing up to make their own decision so they tell them what subjects to choose, what dress to choose at a party(although it may sound regressing your children liking about certain things), what current opt-in future and what life partner choose(lol, how did they do that). When you don’t let your children make decisions about their own life. These parenting mistakes make them dependent on their parents for little things and in their professional life they don’t feel confident over their decisions or they think that they will fail at it.
How can you resolve that? Let the children be their boss. If your children want to buy a pink bag, and you didn’t let him because you liked the black one or a blue one. Give Up on your choice and let him buy what he wants to. Of your children wants to pursue art as his career, and you nat him to be a doctor or engineer, it doesn’t matter how stupid he decides to pursue the career of his own choice, let him learn the lesson from his choice ao in later life he cannot blame you for this failure. It’s okay for your children to make mistakes and fall apart after making the wrong decision. If y9ou want your children to be self-sufficient and inde[pent on his/her life, then prepare them for the consequences of the actions or choices they made.
Set effective boundaries on what you can control and what you cannot.
Not spending enough Quality Time:
Parents fool their children in the name of spending time with children, you can stay the whole day in the home, but if you are not interacting with your children, or communicating with them, playing with them, it’s not worth it at all. Children crave attention and when you ask them to read a certain page of the book or you spend time with them to guide them about how life works, the children will get bored, and next time they will hate coming to you in the name of spending time.
Spending time with your children means doing what they like to do, if they want to go to a park, color a book, or want to tell a story about their toy, do it for them because that’s what we call quality time. It means knowing your children, exploring them, talking about the interests of your children.
Unhealthy relationship of parents:
If you have an unhealthy relationship with your spouse or your partner or you shout for no reason or you don’t love your partner enough, having clashes on daily basis for silly reasons, will affect their mental health badly and after-effects like low confidence, low self-esteem, and your children will think he is not loveable, he will not be able to trust anyone in his life.
How to deal with it? It’s normal for every couple to have fights, it’s part of marriage. But make sure to keep your fights inside the closed door. Instead of showing hate or anger to your spouse, show love to your spouse, treat her with love and show your children to spread love and power in a healthy relationship. It will impact his life in a good way and he will have a long-lasting relationship in life.
Not appreciating your kid:
We always mock our children for not scoring higher, for not following particular habits, for not dressing properly, and whatnot.
In all these scenarios we forget to appreciate our kids where they need appreciation, appreciate our kid when our children put her first step on the ground, praise your kid when they learn to write the first alphabet on the paper. Use phrases like “You are doing a great job”, “Well Done”. Appreciating little things will groom the persona; the city of your children will feel more confident in her abilities, and it will empower the skills of your children to do better in/her life.
Allowing your children to use excessive technology:
The use of technology is an addiction for adults as well as children. Parents who are fed up with their children give mobile phones to their kids so that they can stay engaged in cartoons, video games, movies, etc. Students should constantly check on their kids how much time they are spending on the phone as excessive use of technology can affect their moods, they will get stubborn and show tantrums and it can also affect their physical health like back pain, eye allergy, and mental disorders like depression, anxiety, etc.
The solution for this is to set 2-4 screen time for your kid. And when it’s not the screen time or the screen time is finished, hide his phone, tablet, or laptop somewhere he cant access.
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