I say “NO”. Narcissists are living a lie, so how could they ever be happy? The secret to the universe is based on three things:
- You are going to be happy if you know who you are
- If you know what you want in life
- You do no harm to other people
Narcissists have no idea who they are because they have worn a mask their whole life. They know there is something wrong with them, something so bad they have to hide it, so they construct a “false self “which they present to the public.
Like the rest of us, Narcissists are trying to be happy. Unfortunately for the rest of us, there is a lot going on inside the Narcissist. Too much for them to handle.
How narcissist behave?
The Narcissist is under a lot of stress, and does not know what to do with it. They have decided to therefore give it away. The Narcissist needs to find someone who is willing to take the blame for their stress, to take the blame for their problems, to take the blame for everything.
If a Narcissist can get you to take the blame, to feel endless guilt, shame, empathy towards them, and most importantly accept punishment, this gives them a temporary sense of relief. This is not happiness, but schadenfreude.
Responses of Narcissistic:
I disagree with above mentioned myths about narcissist. I'm a proud narcissist and I take the blame for my own actions. The secret is not caring about what others think. I am happy with myself (including my flaws) and life in general. I don't need anyone to shoulder my inadequacies. I am strong enough to accept them as my own flaws and smart enough to know how to accommodate those who can't accept who/what I am. People confuse confidence with narcissism. Anybody that calls me a narcissist I just laugh and say jealous much.
Real narcissist never admits to being wrong, and will therefore never accept blame for anything. You may have a pathology, but it doesn’t sound like narcissism to me. As above mentioned, person was never, not once, wrong, in his crazy world.
Narcissist social media:
They lack the emotional intelligence to be happy for long periods: they can’t escape The Narcissistic cycle. Just look at their social media for a full 12 months.
You will notice patterns like “actions speak louder”
- Spiritual Narcissist will post “Call to Flying Monkeys”
- Less Sad Narcissist statement will be “feeling better Now “
blah blah blah, same pitiful posts, different day.
Narcissists seem to be constantly running from one thing and chasing another. Demons in their heads driving them towards false remedies that only relieve them for the moment and never really make them feel better. I believe they are tortured souls that cannot see anything outside of their dark, lonely worlds, including the people that love them and the things in this world that are worth living for. They can’t even see themselves. They are blind to the ways they do it all to themselves. They know no peace. They have no truth. They are not happy.
How narcissist pretend?
Narcissists are cautious to be whatever you want them to be. From the minute you met them, they are the most attentive, charming, kind, loyal, heroic and lovable person you have ever known.
- They tell you stories about their heroism, whether it’s about saving a cat or taking care of their elderly grandparents.
- They tell you how loyal they are, having given up someone special because their best friend was in love with the same man or woman and they could never betray a friend.
- They shower people with kindness, holding doors open for everyone, sprinting across a parking lot to help an old lady load her groceries.
- Always making a show of petting animals to show they love animals.
- They pretend to adore children, always playing with them.
- They flash devastating smiles, flirt with people who are usually ignored, talk to those who believe themselves to be uninteresting, compliment those with insecurities.
In short, narcissists can read people. They quickly judge what you want or need in your life and like a trimmer, that is who they will become. But it is not who they are and it never will be.
Imagine living your life pretending to be someone you aren’t:
I relate that kind of life to bribing a small child with the promise of a new toy. Then dressing the kid to perfection and forcing them to sit still for two hours at a place they don’t want to be. The child can survive it, but immediately afterwards, they run outside and get as dirty as they can, rip their clothes and take out their aggressions on whoever crosses their path. That essentially sums up why a narcissist behaves like they do. They have the emotional mentality of a child.
Narcissists have many secrets. And they hide them from everyone. No one gets to see their real self, especially in the beginning. If you are involved with one, you will eventually get sights at what lies beneath the mask but you won’t believe it.
What narcissist want in life?
Narcissists have no idea, what they want in their lives. Their dreams are always fantasying, some vague plan based on winning the lottery, marrying a billionaire, becoming a popular YouTuber, a famous singer, a movie star or winning it all in Las Vegas.
Very few narcissists ever achieve these dreams, instead they spend hours on the sofa playing video games, watching videos and eating junk food. They talk about starting an exercise program, going back to college, going to rehabilitation center or starting therapy to deal with their issues.
Unfortunately, these plans never happen. They stay on that sofa, talking about what color their Lamborghini is going to be, how many rooms their dream house will have and which celebrity they are going to sleep with.
As for doing no harm to others, that is a concept a narcissist can never hold. All people, in their lives are there for only one purpose: to fulfill the narcissist’s needs. This leaves awaken of destruction in their paths.
People’s responses about narcissist:
Narcissists can never be happy. They don’t understand the importance of living an authentic life and they never will. I have read some people’s answers, and they think because narcissists get their kicks by belittling others, and destroying other people that they must be unhappy.
First of all, they don’t always destroy you; they just keep your self-esteem low enough so that you don’t succeed, and so they can better control you. They have to preserve the pecking order with them always on top. God forbid you gain any confidence and challenge their superiority, that’s why they keep you down, not because they’re unhappy.
Yes, they need to be, love to be, very much in control.
What if it seems like they are happy in a relationship or is it a facade?
I think they are, in the beginning. The ecstasy of the chase, the adrenalin rush of love-intimidation. I mean, who doesn’t love that? It’s like being in love with love. But they are happy for a different reason than you are. For you, it’s the ecstasy of finding someone who loves you, who has so much in common with you, who seems too good to be true. For them, it’s the thrill of the hunt, the thrill of finding someone who checks the right boxes of what they’re currently looking for, and the ego-boost of being put on a pedestal.
But after the chase is over, and the love-intimidation calms down, they start to become unhappy. They’re unhappy you’re not living up to every detail of their ridiculous expectations. But they won’t tell you what those expectations are. They say they are unhappy you have them on a pedestal, (if you love them despite their flaws, they think you must have them on a pedestal that blinds you to their flaws), but if you dare treat them or talk to them like a normal person, instead of being one of their admiring fans, they’re going to get really unhappy, fast, and behind your back. Because now you’re inflicting a narcissistic injury by treating them as an equal instead of someone who is better than everyone else.
When narcissist see others as used?
When you see the narcissist as human or see people around him as equals, that’s when they start seeing you as a used or broken toy, and they get an urge to find themselves a newer toy. It’s like, suddenly there must have been something wrong with you, if you were that easy to bring under their spell, and there must be something even more wrong with you, if you’re showing any autonomy, when you should be worshiping them and looking for ways to please them at all times. Even when they claim that is not what they want.
Or they were never that into you to begin with, they were triangulating you for another reason. They needed you so they could get into a relationship with someone else, or to get their current partner to toe the line or use you as a punishment against their current partner.
Once they achieve their goal, they see you as a instrument that has served its purpose, and can now go away. They start looking for ways that you’re insulting them, even if you are not, looking for things to get upset about, so they can use everything and anything they find as fuel for the devaluation.
But, yeah, in the beginning, I think they are happy. Maybe for different reasons than you are, but it works for them. Too bad they can’t stay in that happy place for long.
Why do narcissists act like they are so joyful and not in pain?
They are in denial. They parade a new partner, success or money. Who does that? Who feels the vital need to show their happiness to the world? Being happy itself is enough for normal people, but narcissist need to display it because they don’t really feel it. To convince themselves, they want to convince others . They are clueless to what happiness truly is, so they mimic emotions they don’t actually feel. They may mimic very well because they try really hard to be credible.
When you see a narcissist happy, it means the narcissist is trying really hard to convince an audience.
They know one thing for sure: some unaware people will believe the narcissist. They consider people gullible, that gives them thrills of superiority. This feeling alone compensates their frustrations, the inadequacy about themselves they observe in real life. They cannot tolerate their own imperfections so they twist reality. But it is not happiness. So, they end up thinking happiness means at least hurting other people who see their false happiness.
Click the link to read more about personality of narcissist: https://www.fajarmag.com/which-personality-disorder-is-most-difficult-to-cure/
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