What does it mean to find the love that you deserve? Most of the time it means finding love that does not make you feel inadequate or insecure. You have probably been in relationships where you were not loved and you were not valued. Because we are often searching for the things that we desire the most, the things that we have not received in our life. This includes love. But you are ready because you are fed up in being in relationships that leave you brokenhearted and empty.
When Relationships Become Weakness.
We get into relationships without facing our insecurities, our extreme self-doubt, and our fears. And when our self-perception is toxic, we attract someone that mirrors that back to us. Finding the love you deserve starts with one action. Changing your mindset and your beliefs about yourself. How do we do this?
Every limiting belief that you have about relationships, firstly recognize it and then shift it. Instead of believing that you are not good enough, What if you choose to believe that you are enough? It’s not about changing anything from the outside and it has everything to do about going within and shifting your inner reality first.
Voice Of Inner Reality!
You know that feeling when you admire someone and you feel like they are so loving and they are so kind. And that they are so incredible but instantly you start telling yourself that you could never be with them, you do not deserve to be with someone like that. This is our inner perception holding us back. When these thoughts and these beliefs pop up, what you are really saying to yourself is you do not deserve someone that kind, that loving and that amazing. And you know that’s not true, but your inner reality is that dictating to you.
All you have been doing in the past is setting and simply taking, whatever been coming to you. You can not force someone to give you the love that you deserve, you can’t look for this from the outside, from the external. And you must first give to yourself and truly give yourself the love and connection, that you are looking for first. It is only then that someone can come into your life and truly appreciate the divine beauty of who you are. Everything that shows up in your external reality was first created internally. If you do not think that you are worthy, your external reality would reflect that.
Control Yourself To Avoid Being In Wrong Relationships!
We all have control over what we choose to believe, so why not choose to believe that you are worthy and deserving of the relationships, that lights you up, that fills you up. A relationship that supports you, that guides you and that nurtures you.
What if you choose to believe that you deserve all of the love in this world? I am here to remind you that you are worthy and deserving of love right now. And it all started with giving love to the person who needs it most right now, YOU
Do Not Over Optimize Anyone!
I have heard people say that they would go mad without their partner. That their partner keeps them healthy. Their partner keeps them mentally stable. And these all are wonderful things if you have a supported partner, but actually it could be quite detrimental too. It’s great that they help us with our health and happiness, but the truth is that that’s our responsibility first. It’s easy to depend on someone else for our own needs. We o not have to take responsibility, we do not have to grow, we do not have to focus. It’s like outsourcing our own well-being.
The challenging thing is we can’t guarantee that they are always going to be there. This means if they move further away, we move further away from our own well-being. We have to learn to carry ourselves. If we over depend on others, they will drop us quicker than they picked up us. This is not a negative message. It’s a message for long-term growth. It’s important that our health and happiness starts with us first. Not your parents, not your job, not your family, not relationships.
The Reality Of Happiness.
Happiness is how we feel about ourselves when we are by ourselves. Often we feel amazing while we are surrounded by people, but when we are alone we feel lonely and disconnected. When there is space and silence, we feel unhappy and depressed. It’s in those moments when we realize how we feel about ourselves is so much more important.
It’s been famously said,
Do not depend on anyone too much in this world because even your own shade leaves you in the darkness.
There are people who are always there for you in the dark times and the good times. Recognize them, acknowledged them and express gratitude but do not depend on them wholeheartedly. And the way to know whether you are overdependent is when your dependance drains the other person’s time and energy. It ends up pushing them away rather than bringing them closer.
The Reason For All!
There are two big mistakes we make: We either go to everyone with each of our problems or we go to only one person with all of our problems. Neither of those works. In the first scenario, we feel overwhelmed by all of the opinions and views on what we should do. In the second one, we put so much pressure and burden onto the other person that they could no longer carry the weight. Instead, we have to form a group of people different experts, different people, different leaders and guides for different areas of our life.
The three areas in which we need mentors, coaches and guides are care, competence, and character. There are some people in our life that will always give us care. Their main focus will be always our mental and physical health.
The second type of mentor or coach that we need in our life is competence. Someone who has a skill set in the area that we want to grow in. Someone whose living their passion, someone who is actually an expert in an area where we want to develop.
And finally, with those in our life of the deep character. People who can guide us in the toughest of times. People who can be honest with us when no one can else. And people who can share their truth with us when we are at our biggest and most challenging moments. But everyone has at least one. And don’t forget this, No one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself. No one is coming to change your life, you have to change yourself. Because remember, you have to be your own hero, and save your own heart, because sometimes the people you can’t live without, can live without you!
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