Jealousy is a universal emotional response dwelling thoughts and feelings of anger and agitation. It is a natural instinct originating from primitive fight and flight response. Primarily it constitutes flustered human behavior concerning feelings of hate, anxiety fear and uncertainty. It is a form of hatred built upon insecurities. Jealous people eventually become vulnerable ones. They get stung by the threat of losing their stuff. From life’s most precious things to cozy personal relationships, you can catch a glimpse of ugly face of jealousy everywhere around. Considering south Asian Community, property and land is the root of tremendous jealousy resulting family separations. Jealous thoughts drive a person crazy enough to understand things that are not meant to be, ultimately drown in the shadows of darkness.
Life is never full of beans:
How does one get jealous? What I want to highlight here is the role of failure. How these emotional setbacks drive you towards harmful seas of jealousy? Throughout life, you have to overcome adverse emotions, troubles, disappointments and every obstacle you face.
It is you who need to handle what is destined. Moreover, these emotional tolls mess up your head enough to lose sight of you and your values. Having your head burned in the sand of disappointment is certainly not the way. You must be strong enough to suppress these negative emotions.Be ready to handle whatever life throws at you and tackle enough what is next. After all, these obstacles strengthen you enough to accept emotional turmoil too. What is more salutary is that how it revolutionizes you into a more self confident and self sufficient person. Live your life to the fullest every second and never doubt of your capacities.
“When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It is an alarm. Nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as such.
Anthony D. Raven’s Croft.
Comparison devastates existence:
Comparison motivates jealousy over and over again directing those whom we compare ourselves like coworkers, neighbors, relatives and family friends. It makes finding contentment a million times harder. People who are always comparing are never fulfilled. Comparisons are not only deceiving but they make accomplishing things difficult and impossible letting your wounds never gets cared.
“Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy”
Unfortunately, those people overlook life way too far and eventually become a depressed, negative minded person one day. So what are we supposed to do? Spend more time with positive minded supportive people. Gain positive vibes and put your maximum efforts in converting your life in positive direction.
Behavior of acceptance is obligatory:
When asked the question, DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? We are so quick to answer yes but when asked the specifics, we blank out. Many people just find acceptance so difficult.
Self acceptance is acknowledging your character, strengths, habits and tendencies. It is essential to reach a level of contentment with yourself and your life.
“The moment you accept troubles that you have been given, the doors will open”
You do not need a plan always. Accept yourself as a whole. And that is freaking difficult. Nobody appreciates you for this. You have to clap for yourself during your shaky tough times. Just because its stormy does not mean that you are not headed for sunshine. Don’t hesitate to face the real you. The key to finding happiness is self acceptance. It is the first step of self confidence. Accept emotional setbacks as a challenge of life. Stop trying to be perfect. Learning how to love yourself and get rid of negative thoughts is the key.
Assumptive role in cozy relationships:
Jealousy is a sick attitude and it reflects immensely in relationships. That is what you called pathological jealousy or morbid jealousy. It is enough self destroying and shatters relationships piece by piece. Jealous behavior not only crumbles the entire relationships but completely break it off like a lethal poison. Do not push your partner too much. Every person in this world needs privacy. Going through a partner’s mobile phone or personal belongings will likely make things worse. Do not be a control freak. It will only sabotage your relationship. And eventually the person will trickle through your fingers. Furthermore, this will grow into control and make the entire relation uglier.
Be careful, the less controlling you are, more striking your relationship will be. Be comfortable enough to discuss your problems serenely and straightforwardly. Use effective relationship skills and give respect to his/her moral values, desires and beliefs.
Possible reasons of jealousy:
Therapists often refer jealous thoughts and emotions a trait within inter family relationships. Family comparisons not only frustrate lives but poison the entire family bond. Here are a few of the possible reasons of enlisted:
- Overwhelming and dreadful insecure feelings.
- Seeing others more fortunate in terms of health, talent, and family possessions.
- Anticipatory emotion after episodes of depression and disappointment crippling your balance.
- Financial status of others and gluttony of money, land and property.
- Cultural differences like powerful relationships for family goals.
- Trust issues and poor self esteem.
- Unrealistic expectations fuelled with negative emotions.
- Unresolved apprehension and annoyance.
- Lack of confidence (driving force).
- Complicated personality defects and depressive maniac illnesses.
Strategies to overcome jealousy:
“You have the power to heal yourself, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we are not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power”
Throughout this life, the sole purpose of a man is to overcome every obstacle and keep it going sturdier than before. You need to handle every stress and accept emotional tolls so that, nothing can panic you and rule your life. Trust yourself and your ability to weather the storms of life. Here are a few strategies needed most to overcome jealous thoughts and behavior.
Self awareness and self realization is the correct antidote required for emotional falls. Accept who you are and be gentle towards yourself. It will bring you a more realistic view of the world and makes you more confident to deal with any unpleasant situation focusing on bigger picture of life.
Think before you act:
You do not have to comply with your every negative emotion because that is where the real trouble starts. Take a moment, sit around, compose yourself and observe your feeling. Do not let your emotions control the direction of your life. Acknowledge your situation and perform accordingly. It will pursue you towards your better mental capabilities that will definitely overshadow your weaknesses.
Trust yourself and be confident:
Jealousy is a universal adaptive sort of emotional reaction so confidence is a big tool in coping up. Be confident enough to appreciate yourself who you are. Trust yourself and believe in yourself that you are strong enough to tackle every situation whatever life throws at you. In the long run, learn to become a better version to yourself.
Confabulation creates a way:
Jealousy serves as a poison and it kills relationships before a person even knows. Do not look away from it. Instead recognize that it is perfectly okay to feel anything. Take a look at it what is going on and how you can handle it. Don’t act so paranoid and discuss the issues in broad day light. Keep calm and open your heart with your partner. Never let this horrible monster consume your relationship.
Learn to let go of things:
Learn to move on and let go of things in life. It is absolutely hard but then, think about how much you are missing out when you are holding on.
Ditch that green eyed monster. It is the most disfiguring emotion arousing depression, anger and disappointment. Not just that, it pretty consumes a person by fueling unrealistic thoughts in one’s mind. I agree jealousy is natural but it is not necessary.
“Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies”
Do not let your negative emotions bossing around you to such an extent eventually desolating your existence too. Rebuilt your life after every failure and put your maximum efforts to let the wounds get cured. Bypass all the negativity spoiling your intentions, gain confidence and become a well controlled human being. You are off to do something ever so unbelievable.
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