“Having or showing dogged determination or not to change the attitude in spite of having a good reason to do so”
This state of mind is known as stubbornness and it is a commonly observed habit in children especially the one that’s called “Gen Next”. While discussing it as an of children parents should not forget that it may be the result of any of their misconduct happened before unintentionally. This state of mind is really dangerous if not nipped in the bud, so the parents should immediately take the heel by finding this attitude in their children. Let us not forget here that having a free will has nothing to do with stubbornness. Parents inadvertently encourage adamant behavior in children, by giving in to their tantrums and that is what pushes their stubbornness.
Here are some tips for the concerned parents who want to alter correctly their children’s behavior. Five C’s is the best working strategy in this situation of children which portrayed the message of Concern, Connection, Communication, Consistency, and Cooperation.
Show concern, not indifference:
The very first thing which should prompt into the mind of parents while seeing stubbornness intensity in their children is, why they are behaving like this? And what circumstances lead them to do this? This will definitely help them to tackle the situation rather than being harsh or dealing with the querulous approach. When the thought occurs, feelings occur and when feelings occur behavior occur similarly when parents got a connection with children, communication starts then after knowing the problem the next approach will be to fix the problem by cooperating with them.
The most ubiquitous trait of such children is to argue. Parents must not confer on them an opportunity to start an argument on any topic or if it happens to turn it into a conversation. The more you argue with them the most they became stubborn.
Create a Cemented Connection:
Handing your children a set of rules which they have to adapt by hook and crook usually results in the rebellion of child; whether the child is stubborn or not this approach has always had a negative impact on them. This kind of behavior compelled the children to think themselves slaves of parents and this generates a depression in common but if the child is stubborn he/she would take a rigorous action. Always offer them some choices to be chosen for their own work so that they become satisfied by thinking that they are independent on their own work; which is the first wish of stubborn children.
Bridge the gap with timely Communication:
When you compel kids into something, they tend to revolt and do all that they ought not. The term that best characterizes this conduct is counter will, which is a typical quality of resolute youngsters. Counterwill is intuitive and isn’t confined to kids alone. Interface with your kids.
For instance, compelling your six-year-old youngster, who demands sitting in front of the TV past her sleep time, won’t help. Rather, sit with her and show enthusiasm for what she is viewing. When you indicate you give it a second thought, she is probably going to react. Kids who interface with their folks or parental figures need to coordinate. Building up an unwavering association with disobedient youngsters makes it less demanding to manage them, says Susan Stiffelman in her book Parenting Without Power Struggles.
Be Consistent in your policy:
Stubbornness is not a one-time problem. It is not something which once if fixed would never be aroused ever. It may occur daily or ten times a day. The fact of the matter is that you have to work for this with consistency to overcome this habit. Solid willed kids love to contend. In any case, if their bothering, asking, and irritating wears you out, you’ll just strengthen their negative conduct. In the event that you say you will take away gadgets benefits for the day, it’s fundamental that you finish that farthest point.
Cooperate with them:
Remember that your child may not be stubborn at all and is just a strong-willed individual which is a good thing to an extent. It is your duty to not only conclude the behavior but also treat it in the right way.
So regularly guardians and different grown-ups instruct kids as opposed to collaborating with them. This is an issue. Profoundly delicate youngsters are touchy to your words, manner, tone, air and the general state of mind towards them so they’ll do what they know how to do – challenge, argue, backtalk, deny and other outward shows of outrage and dissatisfaction. You have to change your approach and cooperate with them regardless of whether it’s hard, testing, the exact opposite thing you need to do … it will, in the long run, spare you time, vitality and dissatisfaction.
It’s not easy to survive with unusual behavior even for the ones who go through it.
The above strategies are first-hand tips which would work in the initial stages of being stubbornness.
It is a general fact that most of the stubborn children are intelligent and have an enhanced IQ level than other children. So, if these children are nourished properly with strong determination so they would definitely achieve something greater than an ordinary person can do. As above stated that these children have strong determination towards their will so if they got a meaningful purpose of life they would surely do it well. There are ways to deal with that too:
Teach them to comprehend a “NO”:
Listening ‘NO’ is the most detested thing for the stubborn children. Responding to them negatively without listening to their consequences ignite their immense adverse behavior which soon becomes the permanent part of their personality.
The best way to avoid this behavior is to teach your children from the very beginning to comprehend your ‘NO’. You should be able to say NO whenever needed without the fear of your child’s tantrums.
Try to understand the perspective of your children instead of jerking them in a bad manner. Think that if you were in place of them and someone does not even listen to the reason why you are asking for something so you would probably get anger to them. The same thing happens with children. Listen to them, feel their emotions and if you find any inaccurate purpose in their wish to negotiate with them, provide them with another idea of getting the similar thing by avoiding wrong. This may also develop positive attributes in them as they thought themselves respectful for being listened to by parents.
Be with them when they need you, not just when you feel the need:
Time is an external factor. Children want proper and attentive time from their parents which gave them eternal happiness. One way to lighten the stubbornness of your children is to give them proper attention and time. Work with them instead of just ordering them to do their work. Ordering them to do something will definitely result in their negative response or they just directly deny for doing the work. Use words like: let’s do homework, how about setting the room? Instead of ordering them: you have to complete this! Do this! And etc. Be the special helper of your children in coping with their daily work which they do not want to do. Make some fun activities regarding their work which would enhance their interest in that work.
Inspire them for what you want them to be:
Be polite to others especially in front of your children, children imitate every inch of their parents they observe. Maintain peace and loving environment at home. Do not use inappropriate words for anyone, talk without thinking or backbite in the presence of children. Be the proper model for your children for what you want them to be. Mostly stubbornness in children is the result of what they observe round the clock.
Exceedingly touchy kids are extremely affected by your words, activities and what they see around them so utilize that. Henry, my 6th-graders, declined to get his work done. He loathed math and felt like a disappointment. What he was remarkable at was ball so I revealed to him an account of how Michael Jordan, b-ball corridor of acclaim legend, got cut from his secondary school b-ball group as a sophomore and went home to cry. He was astonished. We at that point discussed gaining from mix-ups, and they are for the most part venturing stones to our prosperity – however, we should put forth a concentrated effort. Henry consented to attempt his homework once more.
Summing it all,
By showing all possible lenient behavior parents must not forget their parental authorities that appropriate rules should be a part of their training. Set boundaries and limits at some family meetings, help them to act according to it, make it easier for them. Give then a big picture of what they are expected to be and the benefits of being like this.
Sometimes children behave stubbornly just to seek the attention of their parents as their parents are not giving them enough attention. It means spending time and listening to their daily activities will surely produce the positive impact on them. Make them realize that they are important to us and their good behavior will be appreciated.
Having a stubborn child is not a grave issue to cry for. In fact utilizing the positive attributes of such children by giving proper nourishment environment usually, make them extraordinary achievers and globally famous personalities who set some mind-blowing trends which the world follows.
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