Loss can be extremely heartbreaking especially when you’ve put all of your energies and a part of yourself into it. We roughly tend to define loss as an emotional feeling or a response when someone or something we love has been taken away from us. Different people experience loss differently. Sometimes; if not always, loss can be interconnected with grief and mourning. Tough these terms are quite serious in their nature but are felt with the same intensity nevertheless.
Human emotions are powerful weapons made only to put us down and hurt ourselves in the process. The feeling of hurt and pain is something we as humans are doomed to feel till the end of time. This is a significant trait of a human heart that distinguishes us from other species. Grief is a kind of follow-up loss. People often grief when they lose someone important in their lives even if that person is still alive, but we mourn for them because they are not in our lives anymore. Often, the pain of loss can be very devastating. People experience all kinds of complex and unpredicted emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt the physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Everyone process or copes with loss differently and in their own way. For some, distraction helps, they bury themselves so deep in the rush of modern world so that they couldn’t hear the voice of loss in their lives. This often ends up a person in denial. Denial makes you believe things which you want to believe. You keep on denying the facts, the reality of the loss or situations around you. The only way forward is to accept and make peace with your loss and let it go. Letting something which used to hold so much importance in your life is as difficult as they come. It’s so much easier said than done. Many psychologists say that time will make things easier and that time is the only healer. In some cases it’s true, but time does nothing except dull and numb the pain of loss. The hurt and that tingle of pain will always be there, no matter how hard you try to get past it. It becomes a part of you, and in doing so one can’t really become the same person again as he once was.
Even minor losses in life can generate a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Grieving is an extremely individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone in their lives have experienced loss, some bigger than others. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and most importantly, how significant the loss was to you. Certainly, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal” plan for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months, for others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
Facts and Myths about Grief and Loss:
Myth: The pain will go away sooner if you ignore it
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing only makes it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is essential to face your grief and actively deal with it.
Myth: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.
Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.
Myth: Grieving should last longer.
Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.
Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss.
Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you. In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more essential to defining the people we are.
Whatever your loss, it will always be personal to you, so don’t ever feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life. Sharing your loss and grief helps only when you do so with the right people, because not everyone has the ability to understand your side of things. And always remember that every experience teaches you something, even the painful ones.
