We convince ourself technology is helping. The reality is, people, don’t seem enough for us these days. We condense computers into laptops, laptops into phones, books into articles, into lists, into gifs because who has time to read actual sentences anymore? We scroll and click and double-tap our lives away wondering where the day goes. The generation of ours is more anxious than before, yet we keep downloading another app hoping that it could fix us. But it all ends up with long queues at psychiatrist to overcome depression.
Social Media; The Real Addiction.
We look to the latest trends, check the reviews on Yelp, investigate the hashtags. Yet in the world of full of information, we are somehow still missing the wisdom life. Almost all of us crave real connection but we’d rather text about the hard conversations. We desire relationships but settle for following each other on Twitter, We stare at the pretty pictures on Instagram instead of the person standing right in front of us. Filtered images are preferred instead of reality. We listen to a new podcast over a person’s day, we check social media more than we check in our friends.
Cell Phones, Devalues Everything!
In our constant need for new information, new insights, new everything, we lose the chance to make old memories. We like being busy, we wear it like a badge of honor. One can not focus because we all are being pulled in 50 different directions. A better option is always at our doorstep, preventing us from being committed. We have trust issues among the people we have known for years. Yet we trust someone’s review that we just saw on Amazon.
I can’t even imagine suicide and homicide are just rates of depressions. You know accidental death due to overdose is going to look like in the future. It’s going to reach epidemic proportions. The statistics are already alarming, and yet nobody sounded any alarm bells.
Effect Of Cell Phones On Children.
Parents have to intervene. We have to stop giving our kids free access to social media and phones at young ages. They are not ready for it. Their minds can not cope with the dopamine. They can only have it up to certain hours and you take it away. They are a child, you can take the phone away. We have got to intervene as parents but as companies, we now have to deal with the influx of kids that are coming into our companies with addiction. See, I watch all the time, walk through any office you will see the older employees have their phones on the sides of their computer as they are working. You will see the youngest employees have their phones face up in front of their keyboard between their arms as they are working. This is how they work.
Reactions Over Cell Phones.
There is a subconscious reaction to these devices when we use them. What if I were to hold my phone while I’m not checking it, It’s not buzzing, it’s not beeping. I am just holding it. Do you feel at this moment that you are the most important thing to me right now? No, you don’t. Because there is a subconscious reaction we have to that device. When it is out, it makes people around us feel that they are less important. So, when we are walking down the halls in our offices, and somebody says, “Hey boss, Can I ask you a question?” You go, “Sure, what’s on your mind?”. We just told them they are not important. Or we can go. And if you don’t have a pocket, find a shelf, put it on the shelf, come back and say “Sure, what’s on your mind?”.
When we show up to a meeting or a lunch or dinner with our colleagues, our clients or our friends or our families and we put the phone on the table means we have announced everyone in the room that they are not that important to us. And by the way, putting the phone upside down, down is more polite. My favorite one is when the meeting with someone that the phone will ring and the caller ID will pop up, and they will go. ” I’m not going to get it”. This makes the impression that they are so busy and we should be thankful to them for being with us(taunt!).
Priorities Disorder.
We want to hold hands while still holding onto our phones. Scrolling twitter while having lunch with friends is one example. We think we can keep one foot out of the door while still falling for the person sitting in front of us. Our relationships don’t last as we always want the latest things in our life, unfortunately, the people too. We walk around stores on Facetime and text during work because life without multitasking feels inefficient.
Remedy In The Wrong Direction!
We fill our schedule, we fill out days, we fill our phones thinking that will cure the emptiness that we feel inside us. We binge another serious of the Netflix show because someone else’s story drowns out the experience of our own. We complain that nothing feels real anymore but we don’t give anything time to become real. We complain that nothing has depth, but we don’t allow things to space to deepen. We are so quick to fill the silence or write someone off completely. Nothing feels authentic today as we select a new filter on our selfies.
Fact Of The Matter.
We recharge our devices but not ourselves when we are out of the time we just add more to our schedules. We don’t know who we want to become because we are too distracted by who everyone else is becoming. How many times has anyone ever said to you: I want your time? Whenever you hear that know, this truth. What people really want is your energy. Imagine if you gave someone an hour of your time but the whole time you were completely distracted on your phone. Versus if you give someone ten minutes of your complete energy. I am sure that any of us would select option 2 because what we are really searching for is energy, is attention, is the presence, is affection. So what we really need to do is give people our energy, not just our time.
Conclusion.
Take a moment, take time to step back. Who are those people that make you forget to look at your phone? Spend time with them. Starve distractions, feed your focus. You can’t do the big things if you are always distracted by the small ones.
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