This open letter is for my daughter Fajar Ateeq who have brought so many colors, joy, happiness, motivation and purpose to not only my life but also my wife’s life as well. Since she is only 4 years 5 months old when i am writing this letter which means she cannot read this letter for now. But i will be addressing her through out this letter. Because Fajar is the girl/person with whom i always love to discuss, talk, share and listen her also.
Before going forwards want to tell you what happened today. I gave you mobile to watch cartoons but after a while i forgot i gave you mobile. I thought you have been using it since long time so i snatched without talking to you. You started crying while saying “You said yourself watch cartoons”. 🙂 These type of things are routine between us.
As this is a big milestone in your life that you have completed your Pre-Nursery so i thought i should write something for you. Since i maintain a dairy for you in which i write different events of life. But this open letter is just to let you know how proud we are about you and how much love we have for you.
First night with you in hospital’s room
On first day when you were born near evening. You were a healthy and happy baby. As your mama was in ICU after surgery so i was there to spend whole night with you alone 🙂 actually ami jan was also there but she was very tired so she slept while having you in her lap and you fell on bed. Then i took you in my lap. When i took you first time in my lap i can’t tell you how that changed me. How happy and great i was feeling that’s really not describe able in words at all. Also the second day Umar mamu stayed whole night there with you holding you as your mama was still unable to handle you and i was tired to stay with you on second day so i went home.
The day when i was going to pick you and your mama from hospital unfortunately my car was not starting. Then i came there on Rikshaw 🙂 after that till today i have not traveled in rikshaw and that was also my journey in rikshaw after many years. Then i took you home in Sikander mamu’s car.
After you reached home you taught us how to have patience in correct way it was very hard for you to settle in this new world. You used to cry whole night so i and your mama used to wake up whole night trying to make you calm. Days kept passing with you while you gave us so much love, kisses, smiles and so many new things we got to try with you. Like after 4 months we started introducing new tastes to you that was amazing part of our life also.
When you were only 3 months old we took you to Murree, as your mamu and nani ama was also along us. When we reached there your nani ama’s oxygen level doped cause of altitude and her condition. So as we reached there suddenly we had to go back and come down. May Allah give her good health! The second visit of you to Nathia gali was when you were only 5 months old. That’s a memorable trip with so small kid where you enjoyed as well as us.
On my First birthday!
It was completely surprise for me from your mama. She gave you a rose to give me and brought you to me while you were holding rose. I can’t tell you how loving and special i felt taking that rose from your cute small hands. Remember whenever i am sad or upset i go and hold your hand that is really soothing for my soul. I love you fajar for filling my life with so much sweetness and love.
While have so much to tell you and words are limited. So i am telling you only things here till your first birthday then will jump to your first year of schooling. Between you can all find in your dairy which i maintain regularly and try to note all things. First sounds you started making were. Baba pakay mama pakay i don’t know the meaning 🙂 You might can tell me.
On your first eid in 2015 you were not looking less than any angel a pic is below for you 🙂
Few days ago i asked you fajar what time in a day you like most? You said baba i love rainy day 🙂 Then i told you i am asking about time in day evening, morning, night or afternoon. Your reply was evening and let me tell you my favorite time in a day is also evening and sometime morning. But only where i can see sun going down with a great view of sky having several colors.
When you were about 8 to 9 months old, i went to a friends wedding without you and mama. Behind you were contineously looking for me and when i talked to you on phone you were just saying baba pakay, mama pakay 🙂 This made me realize how important i am for you and i started taking care of myself also. Before you i was very careless about me but you are the person who made me important 🙂
Your first favorite song was Chityan kalaiyan which you used to watch and move on unblinking your eyes even. Then several other songs, poems and things came and gone. I think if i keep talking this way then we will not able to finish this article ever let’s now jump to your pre nursery year. Also note: we used and still call you baby jaan! You are our baby jaan and will forever remain. I love you fajar. These years with you were so much joy and filled with love. You have given us a purpose of life and you have made us stronger than we were before.
After spending your birthday on 6th December 2015 yes your first birthday! We planned to have a trip to Ayubia again. Cause it was winter and heavy snow was going on there. You got ill when ami and samar went for shopping you were with me alone at hotel, and i got you out without proper dressing. I was so idiot than i learned a small lung’s owner child cannot be revealed in fast and cold winds this way 🙂
Don’t think that’s all to share about you we have so many memories together so let’s jump now to your first day at school!
First day at Pre-Nursery
So baba’s little girl is not that little anymore. She is a toddler now not an infant anymore. She thinks, she question, she get angry, she want to explore new places, she want to buy new toys and much more. So mama baba is seriously thinking to get this little angel into school now so she can learn better things rather than wasting time on watching cartoons and other stuff.
I and your mama started telling you so many good things about school before you join the school. After deciding which school you are going to and getting your admission there. We started making a fantasy around you regarding school just to make you easy and comfortable for such a big new upcoming part of life.
Not only mama baba were excited you were also very excited to go school. We have several memories regarding your initial days in dairies and photos. So let’s summarize it here and i will share the page of diary i wrote that day for you.
Time: 7:36 AM Date 28 August 2018
Hey my little angel,
We are really very excited today for the big day you are going to have. I could not sleep tonight was continuously looking at your face as you sleep beside me. And trying to understand where 4 years 3 months less have gone.Your mama also could not sleep in excitement to see you in uniform to prepare your lunch box to set your hair to make you look amazing from everyone else.
Ready 🙂 Let’s go to school.
On your first day a unique and big smile was on your face whole day! You were exploring new things you were surprised for the new things happening around you. So the new journey started and wonderfully a year completed and you reached in nursery from Pre Nursery 🙂 With a lot of achievements, happiness, friends and better understanding to everything.
Since 3 days you are continuously saying baba i love you so much! I don’t know why you are feeling so much love for me since 3 days cause usually you say i love mama not you 🙂 We are excited to spend this summer vacation with a lot of fun with you as we have seen our little angel struggling last few months.
Before i end up this boring post which might others find boring but they don’t know its a communication between you and me Fajar in open letter to express how to love a daughter like you (not like you actually every daughter). Few lines would like to include just remember i and your mama are trying best to give our best to you. And i hope you will become a great human being who love and respect others always.
- Be happy. Life is too short and very fragile.
- Dream big and follow your passions whole heartedly. Life without purpose is a waste. Purpose can be anything like to feed an animal or many.
- Be confident and feel empowered in your beautiful skin.
- Always demand respect.
- Never let anyone tell you can’t do something.
- Work hard, never give up, work hard again.
- Sometimes people will not understand you, that is OK.
- Travel the world, it is a magnificent sight.
- Be kind and give back to others.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes (I have made many), but make sure you learn from them.
- Ask for help, you have more people in your corner than I had.
- Life is an enigma, so it is OK if you don’t have the master plan right away.
- and… always ask questions, be inquisitive, and rise to the challenges life will surely present.
Most importantly respect other human beings no matter what color, cast, religion or type they are. Don’t be proud about things Allah have given you cause there are many who have nothing. Remember no matter how hard any phase in life come. Give it time and have patience it will go away and the time will change. This is how life works time never remain same so wait for the switch. If you give time to problems they will solve themselves.
At end i would like to say thanks for being part of our life and Thanks to Allah who gave us such beautiful and energetic innocent doll. Be happy always and never let any type of stress decrease your strength! Love you!
