At its core, the holiday season claims to be about making connections and sharing love. Between holiday parties, shopping, and family obligations. However, romance tends to take a backseat during the most wonderful time of the year.
“Family time and holidays put a spotlight on heightened emotions.” Says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of The Great Lover Playbook. “There are often too many to-dos, and for most people not enough time or resources to do it all. This puts a lot of stress on relationships.”
Like a log on the holiday fire, Paget says that couples need to stoke the flames of their relationship. And make sure they are paying enough attention to their own relationship as they give so much of themselves to others. She gives these suggestions for keeping romance alive when holiday busy-ness and stress threaten to take over:
Plan to get away.
We’re not talking about whisking off to the Caribbean, although if you can pull that off, more power to you. Couples should look at their holiday season schedules and write down times to spend time together – just the two of them. No together task is too menial . Paget suggests an after-dinner walk, a movie or just time together on the front porch. “Remind one another what first attracted you to the other,” she said. “Like little kids that love to hear the same story of the day they were born, people never tire of hearing about the start of their special relationships and no one can tell it like their significant other.”
Share the love.
Parents have to fight especially hard to keep their romance strong throughout the holidays, particularly since so much focus is often on children. It can be fun to discuss family traditions from both sides of the tree and the ones exclusive to that family unit.
Exchange adult-friendly gifts.
Paget says that if you buy gifts that really should not be seen by anyone other than the receiver, you are on the right track in the romance department. Open personal or romantic gifts in private, or even shop for them together”. The gifts do not need to be X-rated, necessarily, but should at the very least make the other feel hot and bothered. Even a handwritten note can fan the romantic flame and leave your significant other feeling awash in the holiday spirit.
Stay positive.
The chaos of the holiday season can be a libido drainer, but do not take the pent-up frustration out on your partner. Instead, dig deep beneath the holiday trimmings to find the gratefulness and love you feel. “People love to be around other happy people who are having a good time and that’s true with couples too,” says Paget. “Happy attracts happy, and that can be in your own kitchen.”
Above all, Paget encourages couples to remember that the love and passion they feel for each other should never be put on hold for even one minute – let alone an entire season.
“When things start to feel hectic, talk about what you are grateful for in each other,” she said. “Remind one another of what first attracted you to the other in the first place.”
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