In the pursuit of Happiness


What makes a human being happy?. What exactly is this ‘Happiness’? Is it something we search for our entire life and when we think we found it, it just won’t last. An individual runs his whole life after the mere notion of happiness and try to do all those things which he thinks will make him happy and contended. Satisfaction is a common notion that people use to attach with ‘happiness’. Whereas the two are entirely the different things, being satisfied doesn’t always make you happy and vice versa.

If we ask the people that surround us, the question that whether they are happy with their life, they won’t even be able to answer it. The reason is that most of us don’t know the real meaning of happiness yet. We think that we are happy but there is always something behind our heads that is making us worrying constantly. So isn’t it true to say that we have never experienced happiness for real?.

I’ll be happy when I marry the right person:

There are really two sorts. The first is the notion that if we’re not happy now, it’ll only be possible when certain things will happen: For instant, when I get married I’ll be happy, when I become rich I’ll be happy, when I have kids, when I move to that city I’ve always wanted to live in. The problem is that those events do make us happy—but they don’t make us as happy as we hope, or for as long as we think they will. The false promise is not that marriage won’t make us happy. For the immense mainstream of individuals, it will.

The dilemma is that marriage—even when initially perfectly satisfying—will not make us as intensely happy as we believe it will. Studies demonstrate that the happiness heighten from marriage lasts an average of only maximum of two years. Unfortunately, when those two years are up and gratifying our goal to find the ideal partner hasn’t made us as happy as we expected, we often feel there must be something wrong with us or we must be the only ones to experience this way.

People also believe that passionate love which is the love that media, movies and literature tell us that everyone should all be experiencing; tends to disperse over time. Even if the love survives, which is almost a myth; it tends to turn into what’s called “companionate love,” which is really more about deep friendship and loyalty. Deep friendship and loyalty is the only thing that last for longer than we expected. We don’t tend to give much importance to these things and always run after the ‘Perfect Romantic Relationship’.

I need a Man/Partner to be happy:

Your happiness doesn’t depend on anyone but yourself.

Many of us are positive that not having a partner would make us miserable forever. However, multiple studies show that single people are no less happy than married ones, and that singles have been found to enjoy great happiness and meaning in other relationships and pursuits.

Unfortunately, believing in this myth can be toxic: Not recognizing the power of strength and the rewards of singlehood (such as more time to spend with friends or engaging in solo projects and adventures) may lead us to settle for a married match. Research studies show that single people are happier with their life as compared to the married ones. They are more unburdened, free and relaxed souls rather than the married ones who have to carry the responsibility of multiple individuals and family as a whole.  Multiple evidences have shown that people experience tremendous happiness when they are with their friends rather than their partners.

The best time of my life is now over:

Break this paradox that your age matters, because it doesn’t.

Our conventional mindset has made us thinking that there is a specific time and place to be happy and just be ourselves. For example when the time passes and we are old enough to be feeling those things that use to make us happy. This notion needs to be deconstructed because there is no age limit to feel happiness or even the remote ideas of it. Females rather than males are more likely to recall their past life and the glory of youth. They prefer to live in the past when they were young and more carefree from the burdens of life. Missing their old life with friends made them longing for the past. They glorify with a sigh of how the things were, rather than how the things are in the present. Hey think that remembering all those things and even doing them would make them somehow magically happy.

When we begin to recognize that our years are limited, we essentially change our standpoint about life. The shorter time prospect motivates us to become more present-oriented and to invest our time and effort into the things in life that really matter. For example, as we age, our most meaningful relationships become much more of a priority than meeting new people or taking risks; we

invest more in these relationships and abandon those that are not very supportive.

People want to be happy and satisfied with their lives, but the two don’t go side by side. Satisfaction is not happiness. We search for means and resources to be happy and for that we are ready to do anything. We change our friend circle, go to therapies, on for vacations etc., but find happiness only for a limited period of time. Ultimate happiness is a myth, even the mere idea of it seems like belonging to a far off land.

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