After all of the endless cosmos-fueled discussions with your BFFs about your boyfriends, will you finally crack the guy code about men’s odd behavior? If it were only that simple, ladies. That said, your Guy’s Guy promises to shed some more light on my compadres. I can’t solve all your man problems, but I can share a few additional insights about how men are wired and how they operate. From there it’s up to you. Here are a few tips about men.
1. Sex, Sex, Sex
Men have sex on their minds. That means every hour of every day. It’s just the way it is. It trumps everything. Case in point. I Just watched The Millionaire Matchmaker. Both guys picked the best-looking women with the biggest boobs. Young guys? They’re hard-wired for sex, 24/7/365 and are easily aroused. And if you think older guys get over their sexual thoughts, just ask Steven Tyler. Married guys? Fuggetaboutit. Sure, many married men repress their urges, but they maintain secret sexual fantasies. Don’t take this personally or as a judgment of your relationship. To men, it’s only sex. And although guys know how to compartmentalize sex, it doesn’t mean they’ll stray. Men think about sex more than they act on it. If you come to terms with this, you’ll be better prepared to deal with the elephant that never leaves the room.
When properly channeled, sexuality is healthy. At the same time, cheating or mentally objectifying women through porn are unacceptable. The point is that men harbor a steady flow of sexual urges that need to be acknowledged, yet harnessed and managed properly. It’s part of being a man.
2. What You See Is What You Get
Although I’ve stated this in previous posts, it’s worth a second mention. For the most part, men are not passive aggressive. If they say something, they usually mean it. If it’s out of anger, they blast it out and move on. Unlike the dysfunctional behavior on those housewives shows and spinoffs, men express themselves without a lot of subtext. Guys really are simple creatures, and I state this as a positive. Clarity and reliability are reassuring traits. Men let you know where they stand. If you’re unsure about a man’s opinion, just ask him. Most men will give you their two cents on any subject or situation except when it comes to….
3. Patronizing Women
For some reason, many men feel that it’s necessary to bullshit women. Maybe it’s the guilt about a preponderance of sexual thoughts or secret hopes of getting a woman into the sack by telling them what they think a woman wants to hear. This includes classics like, “I Don’t like the Women in strip clubs,” or “Angelina Jolie? She’s not my type.” You might want to believe these white lies, but I suggest you refer to point #1: Men always have sex on their minds.
4. Men Are Driven By Fear and Ego
This includes yours truly, but I’m aware of my issue and working on it. As you know, men are super-competitive and always want to win. Maybe this is a product of our upbringing, societal expectations, and participation in sports. A competitive drive can be healthy. But if you dig a little deeper into a man’s psyche, you might find his fear of losing is stronger than his desire to win. Think about it next time you observe your man on the golf course, tennis court, or playing a board game. He likes winning, but he can’t bear to lose.
5. Deep Down, Men Want Solid Relationships
Let’s lead our sexual elephant out of the room for a moment. See how much calmer your man is–just like after he has an orgasm and plops down into your arms. He’s stress-free. This can be a good time to surface important issues because there’s no sexual tension or agenda present and he’ll open up about his feelings more than usual.
You’ll find that most men want to be in a relationship. They need acceptance and they want to share their life with someone who understands them. I was hooked from the moment my wife texted me, “I believe in you.”
But even that’s been contingent on how I manage my percolating sexuality.
