Many experts and some law firms often call January the “Biggest Month for Divorce.” KnowMore relationship expert Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D., has been talking to clients for three decades about why they decide to call it quits after the so-called most wonderful time of the year.
Why is January considered divorce month?
How did January become known as divorce month? A number of reasons contribute to an increased number of people dissolving marriages this time of year. In some instances, people put off acting on a decision they already made, waiting to get past the stress and chaos of the holidays. With family around, the kids out of school, and celebrations, some people put on a brave face and power through. Maybe you tried for one last happy holiday and didn’t want to ruin the festive mood.
In other cases, holidays may be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. All the additional anxiety and activity put increased pressure on a marriage. For a relationship that’s already in trouble, a big fight or strained family gathering may become a breaking point. Financial concerns also often play a part. Holiday spending and expensive travel arrangements can exacerbate money concerns and lead to friction. Some people get significant end-of-year bonuses. And by waiting until the new year, the divorce doesn’t impact taxes from the previous one.
For some, it’s as simple as looking for a fresh start in a new year. This is the time when people enact change and attempt to fix problems in their lives. A broken marriage is certainly a problem that needs fixing.
Three main reasons
Dr. Greenberg says she sees three common reasons her clients split in early winter.
1. The holidays are a last-ditch effort
When couples try to get through Christmas or Hanukkah one more time in an effort to save a failing marriage, they often realize that the holidays actually bring the problems into sharper focus instead. What should be a time of joy is incredibly stressful as couples try to pretend things are fine.
2. New year, new hope
When couples look to the new year as a time of rebirth and hope, a strained marriage can be inconsistent. That can often drive one or both partners to look for a way out to preserve physical or mental health. This often has nothing to do with a desire to hurt the spouse. Instead, it is about preserving and re-gaining sanity and an opportunity to experience smoother sailing on a daily basis.
3. No one wants to split before the holidays
Everyone wants to get through the holidays as a family unit, especially if kids are involved. Once the new year occurs, if a divorce is inevitable, partners usually gather their energy and resources. Hopefully, if a split happens, it occurs after much thought and even counseling. Dr Greenberg says divorce should always be a last resort, as it is filled with much pain and a sense of loss, not only for the couple but for any children, extended family, and the family’s social circle.
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