Therapy is the first line of treatment in getting unstuck. Whether you are going through a major life transition, feeling down, having relationship trouble, experiencing anxiety, or problematic usage of substances – only a therapist can help.
For many people, it’s valuable to bring a neutral party to help navigate some of the challenges in marriage. After all, a therapist can’t break you up or keep you together. But he or she can give you tools and clarity so you know what your relationship needs.
Here are 3 signs that you may want to consider investing in a couple’s counselor:
1) You’re telling everybody your marital issues but your partner.
If you find that you’re telling your friend, your hairdresser, and random strangers on the plane about your issues at home, it’s time to communicate your feelings to your spouse! Perhaps you haven’t because you never seem to find the time or figure out the right approach. But couples must consistently articulate their needs and want if they want their relationship to stay on track. If you don’t know how to broach tough topics, couples therapy can help.
2) You feel misunderstood by your partner.
You should see a counselor with your partner if you find that you’re not only on a different page from your spouse some days but in another chapter of life. In order to feel understood in your partnership, it’s important for your values to be aligned and your needs to be met. Perhaps your partner doesn’t respect your newest career goal or you can’t understand his latest hobby. You and your husband may not always agree on the other’s lifestyle choices, but you need to respect your differences and appreciate them.
3) You fantasize about leaving.
If you find your mind wandering to ways to leave your marriage, but you feel unclear, overwhelmed, or anxious about the decision, it’s worth taking another step and involving a professional. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and make sure that you’re not leaving a marriage before you’re sure you’ve tried to save it.
Finding a good counselor will help you crystallize your feelings and communicate them better. A therapist may offer actionable items and solutions to try, but, ultimately, you’ll need to commit to the work if you want your commitment to work.
