Do you ever compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don’t measure up?
Do you look at your life and think you should be “further along“ by now? Do you know that this kind of thinking is precisely what is holding you back?
Why do we compare so much (which sucks, by the way!)?
Because you’re human! It’s natural to formulate opinions based on information you’ve accumulated up until the present moment. Everyone does it… We compare new acquaintances to people we already know, like, dislike, trust and don’t trust. We compare products at the store to other products, pricing, which store is better to buy from and why. We compare places we’ve moved to against places we’ve lived in previously.
It’s natural, and even necessary in certain situations, but NOT when it comes to your LIFE and who you are.
If you live in a state of constantly comparing your life, relationships, career and self to ANYBODY ELSE, you will never be able to fully appreciate what you have in the present for exactly what it is. You will be stuck only seeing what it is not, instead of what it “could be” and, quite frankly, making yourself miserable. Here are my 3 steps to start living in THIS moment, as you ARE:
1) Understand that who you are is PERFECT.
You are a unique and beautiful blend of personality, talent, skills and smarts.
When you spend all your time obsessing over how you measure up to the details that make someone else their unique and beautiful self, you fail to see your own beauty and effectively squash the very things that make you amazing. Along with the gifts YOU have to give to the world. Practice loving and appreciating yourself for who you ARE, not who you are incomparison to someone else.
Your smile is not better or worse than anyone else’s. It’s simply YOUR smile. You are not ahead of, or behind, anyone else. You’re simply where you’re at, on YOUR journey. You have not failed, fallen behind or done things the wrong way. You’ve simply done things in your own way, on your own terms.
There is no right or wrong. You have the freedom to live your life however you choose.
2) Live in the moment and seeing things as they are.
If you find that you’re constantly comparing yourself, you’re not spending enough time in the present moment. Instead, you’re indulging in negative self talk and missing out on your amazing life… the one that’s happening RIGHT NOW. This causes you to miss opportunities and experiences, perpetuating that feeling of being behind, or not where you’re supposed to be.
Engaging in your life, as it is now, knowing that you are PERFECT and exactly where you need to be, is essential to your happiness. When opportunities show up, you’ll be able to see them for what they are, without getting distracted by how they measure up to your past experiences, fears, opinions or preferences. You’ll be able to do this because you’re present in this moment, seeing what is right in front of you, completely detached from any negative mind chatter.
Cultivating this ability in your day to day interactions will allow you to turn that non-judgmental, open minded and loving eye on yourself and your own life.
3) Know that your comparisons are usually unfair.
When you compare yourself to someone else, you’re never making a fair comparison. Are you comparing your weaknesses to their strengths? Are you comparing your lifestyle to that of someone with more money or a completely different profession and background? How about this one… are you comparing yourself to someone with a different personality, skill set, passion and style?
The answer to that last one is, yes, you are. And that ALWAYS makes for an unfair comparison because it is impossible to fairly compare any two people that exist in this world.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde
