Relationships are complex and it’s even more complex when you are in a long-distance relationship with your partner who lives in another city, or country.
Although It’s very easy to start a relationship online via a dating app or social media app, or a university, you need to make some extra effort to make it work for a longer duration.
In the start, the relationship has thrill and energy but with time, the relationship fades out, you have fights and misunderstandings. It seems very difficult to be interested in a relationship with the same energy as you used to be. The relationship gets boring and you get tired of each other.
Some psychiatrists and relationship experts have viewed long-distance relationships as a key for a long-distance relationship. According to them, staying apart from your partners is more satisfying as they get to know each other more than those staying close to each other.
“There’s also the benefit of cultivating your own friendships and interests so that you’re more interesting people and have more to bring to the relationship. You have more alone time than people who live in the same city do, so you’re very excited to see each other and really value the time you do spend together,”says Gottlieb.
To make a long-distance relationship we have penned down the best tips to make it loving and to develop intimacy in the relationship and consulted with relationship experts to make it work.
1. Put effort in long distance relatipnship:
Once you realize that you are in a long-distance relationship with your partner and both partners are not putting in the effort to make the relationship work, it will not last for a long time. Stay committed and connected and keep interacting with the daily activities of your partner. And actually, it strengthens the relationship even more. Having daily relationships help you to understand your partner. When you spend time with your friend on phone or video call, you value that time and consider it quality time.
In-person, you may not talk to each other this much and you may not miss him and realize how important he/she is in your life. When couples or partners stay apart, they start missing each other and they get to know each other and listen to each other to make the conversation more meaningful, and seeing each other on the phone is considered a blessing.
2. Do fun activities together:
I know it’s very difficult to stay apart and so couple things with your partner when you are not seeing each other. But you can have fun together on the internet, you can play games with rival partners on the phone, and you can also plan a movie together and watch it on skype. Also, these kinds of fun activities might seem unattractive and boring, but it does help. I remember when I was in a long-distance relationship with my friend, we used to play ludo and chess together, but now I still miss that time, even though we are physically interacting with each other.
So plan fun activities and games with your partner to spend quality time together. There are a lot of fun activities you can plan for each other, you just need to be creative.
Most partners and couples’ long relationships don’t work because they don’t find topics to discuss with each other. You can plan a lot of stuff together like You can read a book, watch a movie together so you are never short of topics while chatting to each other.
You can also work out together by seeing each other on the phone or going for a walk together, or you may buy gifts from each other in the shopping mall. (I know you may look awkward, but as long as you both are enjoying it, don’t let people mess up, because in the end who cares).
3. Plan meetup:
You are in a long-distance relationship with your partner, but it’s not going to last forever, you will eventually meet each other. So plan when you are seeing each other? When will this long-distance relationship end and when will you see your partner in person?
So even though you are not living in the same geographical area or having jobs in different areas or studying in the same university, plan the meetup plan with your partner so your partner can stay motivated.
4. Be open with your partner:
Most long-distance relationships don’t work because the partner lies about each other. If you are hiding something from your partner which will later come to his knowledge throughout the third person, it will break him to the core. The other partner might lose trust in you and the relationship may no longer work. Be open with your partner, talk about your feelings, insecurity, or jealousy whenever you feel like it. You don’t like your partner having late-night parties with his/her friends, vocalizing it, you don’t like him/her to hang with others, vocalizing so you can know the opinion of another person, before finishing it.
If you are having a problem in your life and you don’t tell because he/she will get stressed, say no to this. The relationship doesn’t work like that. You are a partner and you will have problems and you have to get out of them together. You need a partner to share a life with, your sorrows, your happiness, sadness, and joys it all counts. And sometimes the other partner supports you mentally and emotionally and helps you to come out of the situation. Sharing the problems and their support emotionally by words, actions gives courage to the other person and makes him/her believe that he/she can come out of it. Sometimes even more support helps to cope up with difficult situations.
5. Keep track of each other’s time:
Most young couples and partners hate one thing about each other, not getting a reply on time or not picking a call at the time when he/she is calling. Keep remember that the other person has a life and he/she has to manage a lot of things, it could surface, home, doing house chores. So don’t get offended when your partner is not available or online, think sensibly and give him/her the space. He might have a better explanation that can save your relationship.
So to make the relationship work, you can schedule the time when you both are free for each other and can see each other on the phone without any distraction.
And only talk at the desired time when you are sure that your partner is free, don’t disturb the other partner when he/she is in the middle of something or attending class, job interview, having a meeting with the client, or not available on the phone. Be sensible and get out of these things to save your relationship.
6. Set clear boundaries:
Set clear boundaries with your partner and discuss what you expect from the other partner. Your relationship will not be like the other couples who are seeing each other and are physically interacting with each other. Don’t compare your life with others, it will make your relationship suffocating and uncomfortable.
I know it’s hard to live without the person you live with. It’s not going to be easy. But you need to be grateful that you are sharing life with him. All couples are not lucky to develop a fruitful and meaningful relationship with their partner. Be thankful for him/her for being in your life, and do tell him/her how much you love your partner. It will then be a small act of kindness that can soften your partner and little buds of love develop the relationship. Whether your relationship is physical or long-distance, praising your partner can make it long-lasting. It acts as a glue to hold the relationship.
Last but not the least, accept your partner as he/she is. Falling in love with every changing character of your partner is key to a healthy relationship.
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