Dismissive-avoidant attachment occurs when someone attempts to avoid intimate attachment, and closeness to other people. However, a person who has dismissive-avoidant attachment somehow doesn’t relate to the possibility of romantic relationships and may actively avoid them. An anxious attachment style is the polar opposite of a dismissive attachment style.
The Evolution of Attachment Theory
Attachment styles are based on secure attachment, which is a concept that divides the various ways in which people link up with others into a variety of attachment styles.
Attachment theory divides attachment into three categories:
Secure
This attachment style is frequently view as the most functional in adult relationships. People who are se attach to others. Can form close bonds and trust others. They seek help from others and express their emotions to them.
Anxious
People with an anxious attachment style are involve in their relationships with others. People who are impatiently attach become overly invested in their partnerships, possibly to the point of codependence. In stressful situations, this anxiety tends to worsen.
Avoidant
People with an avoidant attachment style avoid getting close to others. They frequently avoid intimacy and may struggle to see themselves and others in a positive light.
Attachment theory can then be subdivide into countless substyles, such as anxious insecurity. Dismissive avoidant attachment, also known as an avoidant-dismissive insecure attachment figure, is a connection model in which a person tries not to depend largely on or be reliant on others.
Let’s glance at some other ways to tell if someone has this attachment style.
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Characteristics
Dismissive-avoidant individuals are normally very self-sufficient. This behaviors can include “excessive independence, not asking for help, establishing strict boundaries, and removing from their partner when they become too close.”
Condescending people are often secretive and rigid, not allowing others to impact their plans and, in some cases, not even disclosing those plans at all. When attempting to approach someone with a dismissive-avoidant secure attachment, they may withdraw completely from the relationship or friendship. They may be perceive as cold, distant, and closed.
In terms of relationships, those who have dismissive-avoidant attachment are more likely to have short and shallow romantic relationships, where the connection is casual and usually ends quickly.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment and What Causes It?
Because connection theory is based on how we converse with our parents and caregivers as children, it stands to reason that the origins of this secure attachment can be track back to childhood.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment is thought to occur when a baby or small child does not receive the attention or care they require from their parents and caregivers. As a result, the infant or child learns that being able to express their needs does not guarantee that they will be met.
When a child’s needs aren’t met properly by their caregivers, he or she may develop the belief that other people can’t care for them. That can make somebody else, even a small child, feel as if they must be self-sufficient to survive.
The Influence of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment
Being self-sufficient, and teaching your kids to be self-sufficient, is critical for survival. Having an avoidant-dismissive attachment style, on the other hand, is not suitable for a person and can hurt both the avoider and those around them. People’s needs may go unmet if you or anyone else who you know has avoidant-dismissive codependency.
You may not be able to meet your needs.
Being avoidant and dismissive can lead to your needs not being met.
“Generally, as humans, we want to have a linkage with others, and we all need to be taken good care of at some point in life,”. However, because people with that attachment figure have such a difficult time reaching out to others, she claims that dismissive avoidance “can make it difficult to admit you need help and assistance, and this can leave you suffering in silence.”
Your Loved Ones Might Feel Ignored
Partners, friends, and family members from someone with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style may also find it difficult to meet their necessities in the relationship.
In intimate relationships, a person “may feel neglect or disconnect from their partner frequently, which can feel lonely in a relationship.” It is claim that while the avoider may feel safe in their behavior, which is what everyone wants, the person at the other end may not. People generally feel safer when they are connect to others. This isn’t always true for people who have a dismissive-avoidant attachment; they may feel safer the more way away they create. As you might expect, putting distance between one’s own and others can make others feel less safe. This can hurt the relationship.
How to Establish a Healthier Attachment Style
You may be perfectly content with your independence if you have an untrusting dismissive attachment style. However, you may desire a more serious romantic relationship or a closer relationship with your relatives at some point. When these desires emerge, someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment may be at a loss for where to begin. Here’s what you can do if you want to strengthen your relationships with others.
Make open communication with loved ones a priority.
Of course, one option is to move forward in life without making any changes. If this attachment style feels more comfortable and good for you. You can have strong relations without modifying yourself. But it “requires a lot of work and communication to make sure expectations are communicat and understood.”
Speak with a Therapist
Counseling is an additional, and possibly more long-term viable, option. You can consult with a therapist who specializes in relationships or one who is familiar with attachment theory. You can also talk to any therapist you feel at ease with, as they should all have a basic understanding of attachment theory. Before beginning therapy, it’s a good idea to think about your goals and accept that change is often unpleasant.
Using a model like the six stages of behavioral change can help you to understand that changing your attachment style will be a slow process, but you will see results.
Can dismissive Avoidants fall in love?
An avoidant person will always have an instinctive need for independence. No matter how powerfully or quickly they fall in love or enter a relationship. Individuals with an anxious attachment style have an intense and innate need for closeness and intimacy. Whereas those with an avoidant attachment style have a divergent need for independence. Yes, if you’re beginning to wonder, the two are oppose.
Conclusion
If you have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, it does not indicate that you are flawed in any way. Rather, it indicates that your needs were not met adequately as a child, causing you to become overly self-reliant. Know that you can change your attachment style, and that deeper relationships and connections are possible in the future.
